Monday, 5 December 2011

Whey-Aye Pet

What i've never understood is why some girls choose to go out on the razzle without a coat when its below freezing outside..? Sans la outer-wear results in the following... (n.b this rant excludes the majority of lasses from Newcastle, if you've ever been on a night out in Geordie toon you'll understand why these girls are exempt from the rule as they cannot possibly feel the cold when they venture out in nothing but last season's playboy corset and a tutu - thicker skin than Rhinos that bunch and they clearly don't give a fuck)

1.) You look like a complete trollop getting in and out of cabs - trying not to pull a Britney is damn near impossible if you like your hemlines so short "the whole world is your gynecologist" (Patsy Stone).

2.) Aside from the obvious reason that it's freezing at this time of year, standing in any form of queue is unbearable enough without having your limbs looking like they belong on the Christmas Buffet table. If you're lucky enough not to have skin that takes on that dappled hammy pink tone than bravo, but goose-pimples are as prickly as fuck so gutted for you too. 

3.) The walk of shame is made all the more painful when the whole spritely morning crowd can see the Jager stains down your front and the ladders up to an all the more chilly and exposed haven.

Moral of the story is: Wear a coat, they hide a multitude of sins. 

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